What Stephen calls the "Circle of Influence"

It's no secret that I am something of a worrier, and tend to get overloaded when I take on more projects/responsibilities than I can handle. (I told Stephen the other night that I should look at how many different projects I think I can handle, then subtract three to four from that number to find my ideal "project load"). One thing that has helped me, since marrying Stephen, is the concept of "The Circle of Influence" and "The Circle of Concern."

Imagine a diagram with two circles--one very large, the other small and located within the larger circle. The Larger circle is the "Circle of Concern," or the things that we tend to worry about and stew over. The smaller, inner circle is the "Circle of Influence," or the things that we actually have control or influence over--the things we can actually do something about.

So, whenever I start worrying and "What-if" -ing, Stephen looks at me and says, "Little circle. Stay in the little circle." Focus on the things that you can actually do something about, and move on from there. There's no use worrying about things that you have absolutely no control over.

The great thing is, as we focus on our inner circle of influence, it gradually becomes bigger because we are spending time on what we can do rather than spending our time worrying about a host of other things. On the other hand, if we focus too much on the larger circle of concern, our circle of influence becomes even smaller because we are spending all of our time worrying instead of acting.

I wish I knew where this concept came from--I think it's from some kind of management book that Stephen's had to read as he has begun working in managerial positions. We live in such a busy, crazy world, and the only way to navigate it successfully and keep up with our responsibilities is by focusing on the "little circle," the things we can actually do something about.

Now, I need to go apply this. I have three more days of Graduate school, and all of my final projects are awaiting my attention. I've gotta focus on what I can do instead of worrying about what I can't. :-)